Something feels wrong about getting a discount from a charity thrift shop.
Space bar:
Sandwich Porn:
Honesty.
MY dream:
(Source: jessicanncats)
Sequels are NEVER as good as the originals. Just look at WWII.
It’s REALLY hard to serenade a girl with guitar hero.
"Comedians with muscles are NEVER funny…"
"
No waiter has gotten a slightly below average tip and thought,
“Man, if only I tried harder!”
"
I just want a girlfriend who will Top-Gun windmill high-five me after sex.
That’s my love language.
"
I’ve never been able to get mad at a girl who’s eating a popsicle.
And I never will…
Saying that being a mother is the hardest job in the world, is like saying sex is the hardest kind of exercise.
"
Danger is my middle name.
My dad had a drinking problem and made many other terrible decisions in those days.
Ever notice that people who BELIEVE in public transit can’t afford a car?
